Time alone — A love story


By Barry Kerr and Kristine Gay

Ever notice how sometimes, when alone, you long to be with someone and sometimes, with someone, you can’t wait to be alone? It’s a natural rhythm we all feel, and as with most things, requires balance. Yet, there are times in life when you can experience such a prolonged imbalance that you feel stuck.

Perhaps you are in a relationship that started well, with plenty of quality togetherness, and now togetherness has grown stale or smothering. When your partner announces a trip out of town or a trip to the store, you exhale a breath of relief, wishing it could be a longer trip. Or perhaps you’ve been living alone for a long time, and what started out feeling like refreshing freedom has now become an empty aloneness, a feeling of isolation with an endless aching for connection.

Neither of these extremes feels good and both seem to be conditioned on relationships. Yet, in the end, you are left with yourself to decide what to do about it. If you need more time alone, ultimately it is up to you to value yourself, assert your need and create time to be alone. In a relationship, you have enough control to do that — even when your partner resists.

But what if you’re already alone and feeling you have had enough? Merely asserting your need for a relationship isn’t really going to get you one. Another person has to agree to that. And lacking that other person, what then? What control and power do you have in it?

Well, there are thousands of books, seminars and websites that offer help finding a lover or partner. Some are very smart and helpful, if (and that’s a big if) you are ready. But that raises a very important question: does the aching desire for a relationship indicate readiness?

In a culture that presents relationships as the end-all and be-all in life, being alone can certainly seem like a form of poverty in which we may receive handouts of attention and affection from passersby, but are never able to feel at home with a full belly and a warm bed. Our eyes are always looking outward, searching for that one soul who will invite us in. This cultural bias actually distracts us from recognizing the positive value and inherent opportunities in being alone. The truth is, time alone, both short and prolonged, is necessary for relationship and spiritual fulfillment. But it’s not automatic. What we do with our alone time is what empowers us or not.

It’s easy to feel sorry for yourself. It’s just as easy to give up and swear off relationships, all the while secretly harboring that familiar longing for love.

A more conscious way to be alone, for an hour or for a decade, is to embrace it as a time to “know thyself.” If you haven’t been alone much this can mean exploring life so as to literally discover what you like, your values, your needs and desires. From this self-awareness, you can begin to build an honest, authentic expression of your ego and your unique, intuitive guidance system that will serve to keep you true to yourself, even in relationships.

Just as important is how to care for yourself. For fulfillment in life or relationships, you must value yourself enough to give yourself what you need and want, not dependent on others. It starts with healing and loving you. Learning how to do this well can take time — years, lifetimes. Ultimately, it’s about knowing yourself as a soul, the divine, unconditional source of love that you are.

A transformational life coach can accelerate the learning process. An experienced guide can help discern the ways you already love yourself from the ways you continue to block the flow of love and teach you tools of mindfulness and self-care.

As you feel a richness and contentment in being alone with yourself, then you are empowered and ready to follow your natural instinct to share that self with others. The more you know yourself, the more you have to share.

Barry Kerr, an evolutionary astrologer and certified life and relationship coach, and Kristine Gay, a licensed psychotherapist, own Choose Conscious Living in Madison. Both have extensive training in soul-guided, transformational healing of mind, body, heart and spiritual systems. They offer healing, coaching, therapy, mindfulness and astrology services for singles, couples and groups. For more information, visit http://www.ChooseConsciousLiving.com. Call or email for a free consultation and questions.

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Experiencing the Divine – We are all Mystics


by Barry Kerr and Kristine Gay

In everyone, there is a mystic who is longing to return to the essence and oneness of divine, unconditional love, or to put it in religious terms, come home to God. Some people experience temporary moments of such bliss. Some maintain it day to day. Some only feel the longing, not realizing the actual experience. And then there are those who deny even feeling the longing or dismiss it as a mere biological phenomenon.

Entire religions have been built around this longing, offering doctrines of belief, rules of behavior, and devotional practices to ensure one attains eternal peace. Yet, even though millions of people have submitted to such religious authority over millennia, experiences of mystical transcendence and conscious unification with spirit have been fleeting for most. Many have an awakening, followed by occasional moments of holy presence. Yet, it seems only a small minority of humans have gained the ability to incorporate this transcendent reality into their daily, moment-to-moment existence. Some consider them saints, gurus and mystic heroes.

Why is this? Why so difficult? In this physical world of time and space, we are overwhelmed with illusions of separateness: from each other, from spirit, from our own soul. This creates fear in us, and it is the fear that turns into greed, prejudice, hate, war, jealousy, envy, etc. We forget that this world is an illusion, and that death is an illusion. When we can remember that, then we can begin to access our goodness, our compassion, our generosity and our unconditional love and bring it to the forefront of our daily life perceptions and choices. It is by doing so that we create inner peace and joy and increasingly experience ourselves as spiritual beings, souls, unified as one with each other and with all that is.

When one studies the history of religions and the experiences of mystics, a few common beliefs emerge that have played a powerful role in suppressing humanity’s spiritual progress.

  • Believing that the divine (God) is out there somewhere, above us, apart from us or different than us directs our attention away from the most easily accessible avenue to it: within ourselves. This creates the ultimate illusion of separation in this physical world of illusions, and thus magnifies our fears of judgment and abandonment. Death becomes a fearful threat instead of the loving passage from one divine existence to another.
  • Believing that we are dependent on outer authorities to determine our relationship with the divine disempowers us from using our inherent and innate abilities to establish our own relationship with the divine. Such beliefs have worked pretty well for those who’ve wanted to manipulate and control us through shame, guilt and fear.
  • Believing we are inherently evil sinners or being punished by bad karma generally blocks our ability to embrace our internal expression of divine essence, as if we are unworthy. In truth, we are all inherently good. We are love. We are the divine. We are part of God, the creator, or whatever term works for you.

Getting past these old beliefs is not as easy as it sounds. We hold our beliefs at many levels of our being, not just mentally. That is why so many people who think they are beyond these limiting ideas still struggle to find real, ongoing joy in their lives. It requires healing or releasing of deep emotional patterns and energies. Historically, few have had access to teachers and tools to do this. Instead, most people have turned to alcohol, drugs, dogmas and other addictions that substitute for real spiritual joy or repress the pain of the longing.

Fortunately, we live in a time of freedom, when masses of people have learned to heal and grow in self-empowered ways and can teach others to do the same. It’s become a worldwide phenomenon. Many psychotherapists have joined with energy healers, astrologers, yogis, transformational coaches and others in offering services to those who are ready to learn, heal and grow. It’s what we are all here to do. It’s what we’ve always been longing for, even when we didn’t know it. Mystical union with the divine while still in human form is not only real; it’s our destiny. We need only let go of the illusions. Are you ready?

Barry Kerr, an evolutionary astrologer and certified life and relationship coach, and Kristine Gay, a licensed psychotherapist, own Choose Conscious Living in Madison. Both have extensive training in soul-guided healing of mind, body, heart and spiritual systems. They offer healing, coaching, therapy, mindfulness and astrology services for singles, couples and groups. For more information, visit www.ChooseConsciousLiving.com.  Call for a free consultation and questions.

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The Art of Belonging


by Barry Kerr and Kristine Gay

Do you ever feel like a “stranger in a strange land”? Given all the craziness on planet Earth, it might be comforting to know you don’t belong here, like maybe you come from a more functional alien planet. That would explain everything, right? Yet, even if that were true, you’d still be feeling a bit alone, like an outsider who doesn’t belong.

It’s a common feeling for most of us, one that comes and goes. Even surrounded by friends and family we can feel alienated and alone. The goodhearted intentions of those around us just don’t seem to meet the deep and meaningful connections for which we long. This can show up in any number of ways. A political conversation can feel flat and go awry because the other people seem to lack a vision for what is possible and become pessimistic. We might share a deep and personal spiritual insight with a close friend or family member, only to find they cannot comprehend it, or perhaps even dismiss it. It typically involves choosing to keep a positive mood and conscious outlook when those around you fall into cynicism, blame and complaint.

For those of us striving to spiritually grow and evolve and apply our life lessons to change the day-to-day quality of our lives, the above experiences can happen frequently; it’s inherent to being in this world. However, there comes a time to notice whether these types of life flattening non-connections with those around us have become the dominant norm in our life. Do our dear old, lifelong friends and family really “see” us anymore? Or do we have to sort of step down the frequency of our thoughts and feelings in order to maintain some kind of familiar bond? Would they tolerate us if we expressed who we really authentically are?

It’s a basic principle of human energy dynamics that people who think more positive thoughts and choose more self-responsible feelings tend to unintentionally provoke discomfort in less positive people around them. Misery loves company, they say. And one of the ways our culture buys into that notion is by confusing compassion and empathy with collusion and commiseration. Most of us were taught that to be a good friend or loved one means that when our friend is whining and complaining, our role is to join in. Try offering an enlightened and consciousness-raising perspective at such a time and we’re likely to be accused of not caring or worse, being a traitor. We’ve probably all been on either side of that equation and an occasional lapse can be harmless. However, when it becomes an ongoing pattern that defines the relationship(s), perhaps it’s time to question the relationship. Does it serve either party anymore?

Virtually everyone who journeys toward living more consciously is going to reach one or more times in life when we have to question all of our closest relationships. If we are to take charge of the quality of our life, we must be willing to let go of or diminish all of our closest relationships. Family may require some contact, but we must redefine and create new boundaries. Friends, on the other hand, are our family of choice, so it’s up to us to choose. It doesn’t require an absolute end. We can continue to love and care about our people, just not give them as much time and attention. If we still spend some time with them, but remain true to our self, they may lose interest in spending more time with us. Happily, sometimes old friends and family grow in the same direction as we do, and the relationship evolves.

Making these powerful choices is really the best way to love and respect others. Sometimes it feels sad to end relationships, but when we do it, we open ourselves to new ones, and if we are then living our lives more authentically, more consciously, we attract similar souls. With these news friends, we share a common vision and thus feel more seen, more understood. As we surround ourselves with kindred spirits, we begin to feel once again that we belong, perhaps still in a strange world, but not as a stranger.

Barry Kerr, an evolutionary astrologer and certified life and relationship coach, and Kristine Gay, a licensed psychotherapist, own Choose Conscious Living in Madison. Both have extensive training in soul-guided healing of mind, body, heart and spiritual systems. They offer healing, coaching, therapy, mindfulness and astrology services for singles, couples and groups. For more information, visit http://www.ChooseConsciousLiving.com. Call for a free consultation and questions.

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Career and Life Purpose: Know the difference


by Barry Kerr and Kristine Gay

What do you want to achieve in your life? Some people have a precise answer to this question, like, “I plan to become a doctor and develop medical research to eliminate uterine cancer.” Wow! How admirable. But does hearing such an answer leave you feeling a bit intimidated? Are we all supposed to know exactly what we’re here to accomplish? If so, then what’s wrong with you, right? Why don’t you have a clear mission and plan?

Well, maybe you do, but chances are you don’t. Even if you chose a profession early on, you wouldn’t necessarily know where it will to lead you, or what ambitions might form. Most of us discover our goals as life progresses, based on experiences, influences and inspiration, and it can change drastically and contrarily.

That’s what happened to Charles, a man in his 50s, who is now quite happy and fulfilled in his career and life. Charles began life feeling destined to become a scientist or engineer, taking advanced high school courses in math and science. His future seemed obvious to the adults around him.

However, in college, he found himself board and uninspired. What he really wanted to learn was how to feel and express his emotions. He envied those who could do this. Even more, he wanted a fulfilling relationship with a life partner, a mystery to him thus far. So Charles switched majors. He joined the theatre and pursued a career in acting.

The myriad experiences and training he encountered on his way to becoming an accomplished performing artist were exactly what he had thirsted for, and he felt inspired and expanded. Yet, after several years, boredom again set in, but this time, before he could determine a new direction, his health intervened. Charles suffered from a slowly developing nutritional disease, which caused him pain and depression and brought his acting career to a halt.

It was through healing this disease, first through diet and then through therapy and life coaching, that he began to encounter information, people and experiences that opened his vision to his “true calling” in life. Charles became a healer, a counselor and a spiritual teacher. He’s very good at it, and it rewards him with meaningful, fulfilling work and contented days. The skills he learned on the way enabled him to eventually create a wonderful relationship with the woman of his dreams.

More importantly, through the many turns in his career path, he has grown within himself in ways that he now understands are at the heart of his real purpose in this lifetime. When Charles enlisted the help of a skillful evolutionary astrologer, he was shown his life plan, the goals and strategies his soul had planned out before birth. The astrologer explained to Charles the karma he had brought into this lifetime and how it needed balancing.

His astrology birth chart indicated that Charles had spent many lifetimes applying a logical mind with scientific attention to the practical details of the physical world. In the process, he lost touch with emotions, feelings, intuition and spiritual awareness. Now, to balance, his soul planned a different direction. It took Charles half his life to become conscious of this, much less confident in it. The astrology reading affirmed for him why math and science came so easily, but why it had taken most his life to achieve what he most longed for.

Charles’ many outward career achievements were meaningful, but not the essence of his fulfillment. It’s his inner personal achievements of emotional intelligence, relationship skills and spiritual wisdom that have both fueled his motivation and rewarded his ambitions. The logical scientist within Charles remained and played a supporting role in Charles’ ability to learn his new life lessons with more clarity, precision and discernment. He knows that a career in science or engineering may have been successful, but would have failed to achieve his life purpose.

So when considering career goals and life purpose, be aware that what your ego thinks is important may be different than what your soul is trying to achieve. Even the doctor who discovers a cure for uterine cancer may be actually achieving something more important on an inner soul level.

Barry Kerr, an evolutionary astrologer and certified life and relationship coach, and Kristine Gay, a licensed psychotherapist, own Choose Conscious Living in Madison. Both have extensive training in soul-guided healing of mind, body, heart and spiritual systems. They offer healing, coaching, therapy, mindfulness and astrology services for singles, couples and groups. For more information, visit http://www.ChooseConsciousLiving.com. Call for a free consultation and questions.

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Hidden Beliefs


by Barry Kerr and Kristine GayKristyBarry heads free

Believe it or not, your beliefs determine your destiny. Sometimes, this is obvious. For example, if you don’t believe you can write a book, then how would you? But it’s the hidden and emotionally formed core beliefs that have a more profound, persistent impact. These are the beliefs you don’t know you believe. In fact, quite often, what people claim to believe is contrary to what they really believe down in their gut.

A young woman came to us reporting how she felt inspired years ago to go back to school for her master’s degree. The problem was that each time she began to set things in motion to make it happen, something would interfere. The first time, she broke up with her boyfriend and felt too disheveled to start school. A year later, just before she had to pay her tuition, she felt a calling to travel abroad. Though she enjoyed her travels, she felt frustrated and once again longed for more education. This pattern continued for several years.

We invited her to bring her awareness to her body and let it “speak” to her. Bodies hold energies of memories, decisions, beliefs, etc. In this way, she became aware that she had adopted a belief as a young girl. Her belief was that she should not surpass her mother’s achievements in life, that it would be disrespectful and hurtful to her mother. This surprised her immensely. She had never before been aware of this belief. Intellectually, as an adult, she would support anyone’s right to further their education. However, she could now see how repeated subtle messages from her mother and her family had shaped her core belief at a subliminal level. She could see how this belief, though helping her feel emotionally accepted as a child, was now sabotaging her efforts to further her schooling.

This dissonance between intellectual and actual beliefs is universal. It surfaces when clients are experiencing blocks, conflicts and other unwanted outcomes. And it’s one of the best reasons to hire a healer, coach or therapist. A skilled professional can sense what you aren’t seeing and help you see it. More importantly, once seen, you can change it.

There are many ways to do this, including theta healing, energy dialogue and inner parts work. The best processes circumvent the logical mind and help you connect beyond your ego to your higher self, a source of truth not limited to what your five physical senses can tell you. When you access your greater self, the beliefs you hold hidden are brought to light either for tweaking and strengthening, or for healing and transformation.

Our cultures have always pointed to this capacity that we all have within. Ironically, the same cultures have also instilled beliefs that actually get in the way of our connection to our higher self, becoming some of the most frequent dysfunctional and unconscious beliefs we encounter. So ingrained into the fabric of our society have these become that they’ve gone unseen and unquestioned by most people. And even those who question the “norms” don’t always realize how deeply they are still affected by them. We’ve met many liberal and progressive people who, when they dig deep enough, are surprised to find old, childhood and cultural beliefs still secretly running their lives, long after they intellectually rejected those same beliefs.

In the journey toward conscious living, it’s important to actively seek these out. Life itself often naturally exposes some of these for you, but getting help from an experienced guide can speed up this process by years, if not decades. The result is to feel a full alignment and integrity between what you think and say and what you hold in your core as true. You can feel the difference and see the results.

In the process, you naturally develop your intuitive connection to your soul’s wisdom. Over time, you identify yourself less as ego and more as soul. Your need to believe evolves into your ability to know, intuitively, and then your thoughts, feelings and actions spring confidently and authentically from this ongoing experience with spirit. With less dissonance within, your life flows with more fulfillment. Your destiny is changed.

Barry Kerr, a certified life and relationship coach, and Kristine Gay, a licensed psychotherapist, own Choose Conscious Living in Madison. Both have extensive training in soul-guided healing of mind, body, heart and spiritual systems. They offer healing, coaching, therapy, mindfulness and astrology services for singles, couples and groups. For more information, visit http://www.ChooseConsciousLiving.com. Call for a free consultation and questions.

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Sacred Sex – The Urge to Merge


KristyBarry heads freeBy Barry Kerr and Kristine Gay

How’s your sex life? For most of us, this question, and the answer to it, can at times dominate our day-to-day self-awareness and sense of happiness or discontent. The urge to merge is one of the most driving forces in human nature. When your sex life is going well, there’s nothing quite like it. But when sex, or its absence, is a problem, it can seem to diminish your enjoyment of the other dimensions of your life.

Or is it the other way around? Rather, does how you experience the other dimensions of your life affect how well your sex life is going? It’s an important question to consider, especially if you have a relationship that is floundering or a history of relationships that don’t last.

The energy of sexuality and erotic sensual attraction is a physical expression of the sacred energy of love, the urge for union, the intimate communion of our energies at every level of our being. It is the most active and obvious expression of your soul’s longing to return you to the wholeness of spiritual oneness. Without it, your ego might easily rest in solitude, perhaps feeling alone, but more importantly, feeling safe and in control from the apparent fears that this illusionary time/space physical world of separateness presents to you.

In a way, sexual desire has been created to “trick” our egos into intimate, bonded relationships. Despite your ego’s best efforts to remain autonomous and in control, you find yourself opening up to others, revealing your naked self, and putting your body in the most vulnerable of positions. When you do it well, the rewards are heavenly and immediate. Your body and brain chemistry create the physical and emotional sensations of connected bliss, a feeling that lingers and begins the subliminal process of bonding to and further desiring your sexual partner.

At the beginning of new romantic relationships, this sexual bliss can easily dominate your experience, providing the positive juices for further mutual attraction. Continued love-making typically leads to broader and deeper intimacies, emotional, mental, financial, and spiritual. And that’s the point. That’s what your soul wants your ego to do, because it is in this merging of self with other, on every level, that you come face-to-face with your ego, reflected in and by the other. By revealing your true nakedness, that of your ego, you invite the possibility for an intimacy that builds a dynamic of synergy in the relationship, an ongoing possibility for personal growth and transformation which builds upon sexual excitement and sustains a lasting bliss throughout other facets of the relationship.

Sex eventually becomes shallow and unsatisfying when divorced from this deeper intimacy of heart, mind, and spirit. For lack of deeper connection, the ego typically seeks intensely exciting or thrilling sexual and erotic sensations and activities as a way of generating a greater sense of joyful vitality, beauty, and grandeur. However, these artificially contrived or controlled erotic techniques remain rather superficial, and therefore, inevitably become stale, desensitizing, deadening, and unsatisfying. What is left, is the stark feeling of non-connection and separateness, within which the neglected soul’s determined quest for wholeness once more stirs the ego into a renewed and discontented longing for connection. You may reach out for another relationship, hoping for better, or you might re-assert your autonomy, hoping to at least shore up what parts of your self you can, into some semblance of wholeness.

Typically, when couples reach out for help from coaches or therapists, unsatisfying sex is one of the complaints. As their relationship is examined, it becomes apparent that they have lost their sense of connection, in general, if they ever had it at all. For those who had at one time established a broader and deeper intimacy and a resulting contentment, the process of recovery is for each partner to re-discover or re-claim the self, to strengthen the ego’s authenticity and integrity. From there, partners can re-enter relationship, willing to reveal their current selves and negotiate the reflective dance between egos, letting the possibility for energy and synergy to arise again between them. For some, it’s a true rebirth of romance. For others, it brings clarity and strength to move on.

Barry Kerr, a certified life and relationship coach, and Kristine Gay, a licensed psychotherapist, own Choose Conscious Living in Madison. Both have extensive training in soul-guided healing of mind, body, heart and spiritual systems. They offer healing, coaching, therapy, mindfulness and astrology services for singles, couples and groups. For more information, visit http://www.ChooseConsciousLiving.com.

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Committing To Relationship: A Different Approach


KristyBarry heads freeBy Barry Kerr and Kristine Gay

Life presents us with one simple choice at any given moment: to keep our heart open to love and invite truth into our awareness, or to withdraw into fear and resist. We face this choice again and again, without end. It is within our closest relationships that this choice is brought to focus in ways difficult to deny.

Though the choice between love and fear is one we make all the time, even when alone, our closest relationships tend to provoke and challenge us in ways that we could otherwise too easily avoid and deny on our own. When a loved one brings a conflict, a problem, an issue to our face and demands a response, there we are, confronted with this choice. Because our loved one is wanting a response, there is no way out. Even an attempt to avoid response is a choice. This is why close relationships are catalysts for opening our hearts and bringing us to consciousness.

Yet so many people create their primary relationships from a different premise: to form an alliance with someone who will help them stay hidden, stay in their illusions, stay safe. It’s not that people think of it this way at the time, but it is what people do. In itself, this motivation for relationship is rooted more in fear than in love. So it behooves us to ask ourselves what our intentions are in our relationships. What is it we want from our closest companions? What are we offering them?

What if you looked at your close relationships as your most primary opportunities for learning and growing? If you are going to commit to someone, how about committing not to a destination, time or outcome, but to an agreed upon process of open-hearted intimacy that leads to ever greater vistas of awareness about yourself, others and the mysteries of life? It’s a commitment to letting go of anything that stands in the way of feeling a full loving unity with yourself and your loved ones. It requires making true and authentic intimacy more important than being right or justifying outworn patterns from your past.

Authentic intimacy first requires a courageous commitment to your own growth, and then a commitment to self-revealing, not withholding, to vulnerability, not fear, taking responsibility for your own happiness and well-being, not blame and shame. Most importantly, it requires a commitment to radical truth telling. This means always being willing to reveal your inarguable truth with your loved one, including the things that feel the scariest to share, but primarily and most importantly, feelings, such as fear and anger.

We call this truth inarguable because when told authentically, it is about what you are experiencing inside yourself, not your opinions, judgments and other mental abstracts, and not about the other person. It often includes information about what you are feeling in your body; how, for example, your stomach feels in a knot when your loved one does such and such. This kind of microcosmic truth, when done well, can liberate people from jealousy, competition and power struggles and build more passion and creative juice.

With this outlook, when problems and conflicts arise, it doesn’t indicate that there may be something wrong with you or others or the world. It merely reveals a cutting edge to your self-awareness, something new to learn, an opportunity for more mastery in creating peace and joy in your life. Working with a partner who shares this perspective can empower a relationship to become an exciting and vibrant field of learning and growth. When you and another commit to being allies to each other in this way, your combined synergy of trust and intentions makes it easier and easier to choose love over fear. This begins to dominate your choices in each moment, even alone, wherever you go.

Most of us did not have this modeled for us in our families or by our culture. However, it can be learned. Conscious relationship training is changing the way we all relate.

Barry Kerr, a certified life and relationship coach, and Kristine Gay, a licensed psychotherapist, own Choose Conscious Living in Madison. Both have extensive training in soul-guided healing of mind, body, heart and spiritual systems. They offer healing, coaching, therapy, mindfulness and astrology services for singles, couples and groups. For more information, visit http://www.ChooseConsciousLiving.com.

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